Indiana Jones and the Temple of Baby Stuff

You can tell that it's not me in this picture because I didn't look that comfortable shopping at Babies R Us. Also, I would never wear cargo shorts and boat loafers at the same time..

I would never call up a friend and say,” Hey, I saw this chair at Target that I like, will you buy it for me?” And yet, if you’re getting married or having a baby, it’s totally socially acceptable to send your friends and family a list of items that you deem worthy enough to be purchased for you. People from most countries around the world would probably call this greedy. We call it registering.

It is a result of this strange custom that I found myself at Babies R’ Us on a Tuesday. Remember that warehouse at end of the first Indiana Jones movie where they stored the Ark of the Covenant? Babies R’ Us is bigger than that.

After telling a nice lady at the Guest Services counter some personal information about ourselves, she gave us a folder full of stuff and one of those pricing guns. We were free to roam the store, and so we did.

Things were easy at first, we picked a stroller we liked, a car seat that seemed easy to carry and a baby bathtub that looked seaworthy. Within only a few minutes, we had twenty things on our list and were feeling good about ourselves.

“How many items do most people put on their list?” I asked the nice lady at the Guest Services counter.

“Oh, I’ve seen as many as 250.”

“We should probably put some more thing on our list,” I said, and Becky agreed.

And so we did. Pretty soon we seemed to really be getting into the minutiae of baby supplies. We added fingernail clippers, pacifiers and something that looked like a ladybug-shaped boogie board. We were all the way up to 38 items when we found ourselves staring at the vaporizers/humidifiers.

“Do we need cold mist or warm steam?” I wondered aloud.

“I’m not sure,” came Becky’s response, her eyes as glazed over as mine.

This is how we ended up staring at a bunch of humidifiers for several minutes. And this is when we realized how you know when you are done registering for baby gifts. If you don’t know if you need it, then you don’t need to ask someone else to buy it for you. People in other countries would be so proud.

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