The Kentucky Derby and the Parent Paradox
Perhaps I can just put this picture in Rosalie's baby book?
I’m nowhere near the parent I thought I’d be. This is not to say that I’m not as good a parent as I thought I’d be, as I’m definitely a caring and capable father. However, it is to say that I’m just a really different parent than I thought I’d be. In my head I was going to be equal parts strong and sensitive and strike a perfect balance between hard-working and fun-loving. I was going to be Tony Danza from Who’s the Boss?.
Of course, there’s still time for me to become the dad I want to be. Every day is an opportunity, and I’m really committed to being more like the kind of dad that takes his baby to cool places, reads to and plays with his baby than the kind of dad who rushes her to bed so he can watch NCAA Basketball games (ahem). My latest chance to not fail at being a cool dad comes in the form of deciding whether or baby Rosalie, Becky and I are going to attend the Kentucky Derby this year with my parents and siblings. It’s not that I haven’t missed the Derby before (I’ve missed 2 of the last 5), but I really like the idea of being the kind of parents who take their five-month old to the Kentucky Derby. I want that picture of a smiling Rosalie in a giant hat and sundress at the Derby. I want Rosalie to see that picture when she’s older and know that her parents were always committed to doing awesome things with and for her.
The problem is, I’m not sure if that photo is worth the headache. The logistics of toting a 5-month old to two days at a horse track in Kentucky seem daunting, not to mention setting aside the money and the vacation days. And so, we’re at a crossroads. Do we make the decision that the parents we want to be would make, or do we make the easy, sensible and, ultimately, boring one? When I put it that way, it seems like no-brainer to immediately book our flights and Derby tickets, but realistically, I don’t think that’s going to happen.
It’s unfortunate, but so much of being a new parent is about the path of least resistance. It’s about getting by and getting through, not getting drunk on mint juleps. Maybe someday I’ll be the dad I want to be, but in the meantime, I’ll have to settle for being a good ol’ boring dad. Emphasis on the “good,” though. I like the sounds of that.
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Wow that would be quite an adventure! After what I went through today in watching my little girl (she will always be that to me as will Rosalie to you n Becky) go through labor and give birth, I think you are amazing to even contemplate an undertaking like the Kentucky Derby with a 5 month old! Perhaps we should have a “Minne” Kentucky Derby and do it at home… I have some granddaughters that would look just as darling in the hats and outfits~we could invite other cuties to join us, have all our dogs over to “run” and “race” around the yard, partake in some mint juleps and then watch the race on a big ol’ TV. It’s an alternative, anyway.
I’m totally in for a Minnesota Derby, Mary. Congrats on the new granddaughter!
Do it. Take her anywhere and everywhere logistics be damned. Our 9 month old has been more places than most adults. We went camping when he was 2 weeks old. And so far he’s always up for an adventure.
You’re totally right, Elise. Can you just remind me of this “take her anywhere and everywhere logistics be damned” mentality every couple of weeks, please? Eventually, I’ll come around.