This Sleepless Night is Totally Your Fault

A karate baby is awesome. A karate fetus? Not so much.

Falling asleep with my hand on my girlfriend’s belly is one of those things about pregnancy that make it so cool. You can feel the baby just waiting to get out. It kicks, it turns, it protrudes in ways you didn’t think were possible. Last night though, the little thing was getting after it like he was a Rockette in moshpit. It was fantastic to feel this Chuck Norris-like action for a little while, but when I got well past the point where I normally fall asleep, it started to get annoying. I remember thinking to myself, “Ham is kicking waaaay too hard for me to be able to fall asleep. I wish it would stop.”

Of course, there are several things wrong with this thought, one of which is that you should never complain about having a baby healthy enough to kick up such a ruckus, but the biggest is definitely the fact that all I had to do to make the kicking stop was to move my hand. Of course, my girlfriend doesn’t have such a luxury. I’m worried about a little vibration that I can get easily get away from, but how does she sleep at night (not well, is the answer)? And more importantly, if I’m really as awful of a person to think so selfishly, how do I sleep at night?