You Do Not Talk About Pregnancy Brain

Like WebMD, I’m a firm believer in pregnancy brain. I’ve seen it firsthand. My girlfriend is much more absent-minded these days. She’s slower to remember things. She makes little mental mistakes she never did before. For example, she accidentally took my phone to work the other day. How do you accidentally take someone else’s phone to work? Pregnancy brain, that’s how.

Becky will freely admit that this is the case, and I am very understanding of this affliction. I mean, every time she’s asked to find something in her memory she has to do it while simultaneously creating a human being. I can’t chew gum and chew another piece of gum at the same time, so I can’t blame her or be upset if she’s a bit absent-minded.

So, the problem isn’t pregnancy brain. The problem is that I keep talking about it. Any time Becky forgets something or spends a couple of extra seconds trying to calculate the tip while we pay a dinner bill, I will say, “Pregnancy brain!” I thought pregnancy brain was our little joke, but it turns out that pregnancy brain is not our little joke. Becky, and other pregnant women I have subsequently surveyed, do not appreciate being reminded of this little side effect of pregnancy. Think of it like the concept of making fun of your mom. You can make fun of your own mom, but as soon as someone else tries to make fun of her? Them’s fightin’ words. Pregnancy brain is just like moms in this way. Which makes a lot of sense, really, as moms are the ones that get pregnancy brain. Well, unless Becky or another pregnant woman asks, in which case I will deny that pregnancy brain exists. I will also deny that this blog post exists. Now, let us never speak of this again.